CHANGE

I’ve realized that life has a way of changing in the blink of an eye.  There is a time to be born, a time to die, a time to love and a time to fear, a time to be happy and time to weep, a time to be grateful and a time to feel numb, a time to move forward and a time to stand still.

Today I have a choice:  I can choose how I am going to handle change.  Change is what happens to us when we just start feeling comfortable in our own skin.  Change comes in moments when we least expect it, and change, if handled right can make us a better person.

Happiness is a choice and sometimes the hardest choice to make.  It’s easier to be sad, mad, frustrated, envious, afraid, anxiety ridden, and full of despair.  However, these are Satan’s ways.  He has no body, he has no future and  his number one target is bring us to his level.  If we have acted upon our weakness, then he knows them.  He will do everything in his power to get us to sink to his level.  He’s wise, a smooth talker and he knows exactly what to do to empower us.

The good news is:  Christ’s power is stronger, wiser and infinitely the only way to true JOY.  Light has more power than darkness, obedience has more power than sin and  goodness always is the better choice.  Are we ever going to regret being nice?   Are we ever going to regret helping someone?  Are we ever going to regret loving another person instead of hurting them.

Today it is my choice to choose  who I want to be?  The only thing I truly have control over is my thoughts and my actions.  If I can go to bed tonight knowing that I served God, that I did not hurt anyone and that my thoughts were more positive than negative, then I believe that is success.

Where love is, there is God also.  What kind of person am I going to be today?  The choice is up to me?  What story am I going to write today?  What person am I going to help today?  Fear is Satan’s worst tool, and fear is thinking of yourself more than others.

The true key to finding joy is to lose yourself in the service of another human being.  To truly become one with Christ we have to put Him first, our spouse second and others third.  If this principle is applied, peace will envelope our souls, happiness will come, but the true blessing will be JOY, because JOY is knowing that there is something far greater than this life.  This life does matter and the choices we make today do matter.  The greater choices we make today will determine the level of peace we will have in the next life. If we knew what eternity was really like, we would all embrace mortality with a way different perspective.

Sometimes our blessings come through raindrops, sometimes our blessings come through fear, sometimes its the sleepless nights that teach us that it is our complete dependence on Him that grounds us to a level of complete humility.

So for today, I choose to embrace goodness, seek for peace, and pray that maybe today will help me to be a better person tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

Windsong Boy

img_0781When I was in college I found a picture of the boy I was going to marry.  He was dark, His eyes were blue and pierced your soul to the very core of your being.  I cut a picture out of a magazine and hung it above my bed when I was in college. This picture has stayed on my mind for over 35 years.  He was the windsong boy and the advertisement said “you were always on my mind”.

Today is my anniversary.  It has been 33 years ago  today that I married my “windsong boy”.  When I met Daren I thought he was nice and every time he asked me on a date, I said yes.  He was a nice guy and spending time with him was a no brainer.  However, I knew I would never marry him because he did not look like my windsong boy. He was blonde and fair skinned and he was handsome, but he was not what my mind had pictured my husband to be.

thirty-three years have passed and I can honestly say that now he looks exactly like the “Windsong Boy”.   His hair is not that blond anymore, his skin has aged and the sides of his whiskers do have a touch of grey.   He wears grandpa glasses, his legs are still long and his eyes pierce my soul deeper than I ever imagined.  They say that your eyes are the window to the soul.  When Daren looks at me with a kindness that far surpasses beauty, time stops for a moment.

To see is to believe, to believe is to know, and to know is to love.  I’m not sure if loving him has made me a better person or knowing that he loves me  solidifies that I am a better person.

I believe that somewhere in each one of us a masterpiece is being created.  I believe that once the clay was touched unbelievable things can happen.  When Daren touches me I am a better person, when he hugs me I feel safe.  When he kisses me the moon stares back and when he loves me all the planets align together.

Today I am a piece of clay being molded by another human beings soft arms.   I believe in the sanctity of marriage and I believe that every girl deserves to have a “Wind Song Boy” beneath their wing.

Angels fly with two wings,  but with an angel  like Daren you need no wings because he carries your burden and flys for you.

To love another person is to see the face of God.  I can only imagine what that will be like someday.   So for now, as I take this mortal journey with him by my side, the thoughts of eternity far surpass my wildest dreams😇

 

 

 

 

The butterfly

img_0587November 7, 2016

I believe that out of all the insects in the world the butterfly is the most mysterious, intricate and beautiful creature of all.  A butterfly represents growth, change and freedom.

A few months ago I was working in the yard and a yellow, blue, purple and green butterfly soured above my head.  For a moment time stood still and I wanted to capture this beautiful creature and freeze time.

I wondered what kind of caterpillar it must have been?    I wonder how long it struggled and how badly it wanted to break free.  I think in many ways we are wanting to be butterflies. Sometimes we’re just too afraid to leave our cocoon.  The caterpillar is a safe place to be.  It is one color, it stands alone and not many people notice it.  However, when the caterpillar decides to become a butterfly, amazing things start to happen.

There are about 17,500 species of butterflies throughout the world.  The exact number of butterflies is not known because there are so many different species.  It’s amazing how similar they are , but yet also so very different.

The butterfly represents love, peace, flight and most of all transformation.  I believe that all woman at one time or another dream of being a butterfly.  Mariposa is the term for butterfly in Spanish.  It’s meaning has a significance that creates fortitude and strength.

I have chosen to be a butterfly over the next 15 months.  While Kailee is on her mission she is going to change and evolve into the most beautiful butterfly that our family has ever seen.  Since she in the only female besides me in our family, I want to also become a butterfly with her.  I have set some goals that I want to accomplish before she gets home.  I believe that if I continue to achieve those goals that hopefully she will evolve with me.   A butterfly is only as good as the people it associates with.  I believe the more friends a butterfly has, the more beautiful is will become.  I also feel that the more the butterfly watches other butterflies, the stronger it will become.  The longer it stays in its cocoon, the more ability it has to face the world around it.  If a butterfly breaks through too soon, the cycle is interrupted and nature cannot create the beautiful creature that it was meant to be.

I believe that Kailee’s mission is the pupa or chrysalis stage of the butterfly.   The caterpillar’s structure is rearranged and broken down and its wings, body and legs start to develop into an adult butterfly.  To become a butterfly is not an easy task.  Their will be weather issues, food situations that may affect its growth and maybe even tiny delays in its development.  However, once these issues have been addressed and the butterfly is strong enough to break through the cocoon, a remarkable metamorphosis  will take place.

kailee has experienced friend issues, an unexpected tornado, bug bites and allergic reactions to long haired cats.  All of these little interruptions are helping her to become the butterfly she is meant to be.

Next Spring when I am in my yard planting the first flowers of the season, I know a butterfly will pass my way.  Butterflies are the heaven scent kisses of an angel.  When that butterfly passes over my head, I will know that the time is closer to seeing  Kailee again.  The  butterfly will remind me of the the picture of the young girl in the lavender fields that hung above her head when she was a little girl.  A butterfly kiss comes from heaven and when butterflies unite all of the angels in heaven take flight.  When butterflies and angels meet, it is the beginning of something magical.

When I go to bed tonight, I will dream of the butterfly that I want to be , knowing that my daughter has already taken flight.  Today my caterpillar will hold deep to the values that I have been taught my entire life.  When the time is right, the wings will begin to form and the strength of the butterfly will far surpass the test of time.

Love Wing 2

MOM

The joker🃏and the Queen Of Hearts❤️

Today is Halloween my favorite holiday.  I have reflected more today than I have in a long time.

Halloween represents the young, the carefree, the creative and artistic people that for one day can actually be someone else.

My memories of Halloween include a Superman costume which my husband Daren wore.  Tyler, Austin & Blake also wore this costume.  When Blake wore it, Dylan was Batman.  My mother-in-law made this adorable outfit.  Everything  about this little royal blue and red homemade treasure just makes me happy.  Dressing up twin boys for Halloween was probably one of my favorite things to do.  This costume is still in my Halloween box and hopefully my handsome grandson Easton will wear it someday.

However, my favorite memory about  Halloween was when Sister Kailee Hogge was 18 months old.  Kailee and I used to dress up every  year in matching costumes.    I used to think about what we were going to be months before the big day.  In 1998 we were cats.   Kailee is allergic to cats, we had a cat named Pistol and Kailee was like a little cat in all of our lifes.  She laid in the same spot in our home everyday and she liked to be by a window in a warm spot.  She was quiet, inquisitive and a deep thinker. Her presence in our home made me want to be a better person.

When we dressed up as cats together I just couldn’t stop staring at her.  Her eyes seemed greener that day, her hair seemed blonder and the sucker that she held in her hand that Halloween has left a handprint on me heart❤️

When Kailee turned 12 that tradition stopped and she started dressing up with her friends.  Through the years I have convinced my awesome husband Daren to dress up with me.  The replacement was hard , but now the tradition of finding a couples costume has taken precedence in my life.

We had a Halloween party a week ago and I was the Queen of Hearts and he was the Joker.  These costumes fit our personalities perfectly.  I am a romantic, I love everything about hearts  and I always send love notes to people.  Daren, on the other hand is reserved, mysterious and very funny.  He makes me  happy, and it’s fun wondering what be may say or do to make me laugh.

I believe that everyone deserves to be someone their not for one day.  To dream, to inspire, and to make-believe that for a moment time can stand still.  May all the Supermans, mysterious cats and Queen of Hearts embrace Halloween and make a memory that will last a lifetime.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN2016

THE LION

img_0353With Halloween around the corner,  my thoughts have gone back to the Lion.  When my twin boys were three I dressed them up like lions.  It was probably my favorite costume of all time.

I used to teach pre-school to 3 year olds.  I have taught 1000’s  of 3 yr olds how to swim.  I have a 3 year old granddaughter that just melts my heart.

There’s  something magical  in the number 3.  “Once, twice, three times a lady” Lynol Richies famous song.  “Tap your heels 3 times and you will be home”  from the Wizard Of Oz.  Three wise men came to the Savior when he was born in Bethlehem.  There is so much significance in the number 3.

In the LDS religion, all of our leadership positions have 3 members.  Our God head is composed of the Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost.  The numbe 3 has great significance in our lives.

Today I am sending a package to my missionary daughter.  I made 3 loafs of banana bread for her.  One for her and her companion.  One for her friend Kate who feeds her every Monday and has become her second mom, and one for her to give away.

Today I am also sending Kailee a stuffed animal that is a LION.   This Lion has great meaning in my life.  It is very hard for me to give this Lion away.  However, Kailee asked for it , and so I will send it to her.

When Kailee’s twin brothers left to go on a mission,  I bought two Lions at Deseret Book.  When Blake went into the MTC , I sent one with him.  He gave the Lion away to a Sister Missionary who was homesick.  When Dylan left on his mission I gave the other one to him.  He left in on his bed with a beautiful note that told me how much he loved me and he wanted me to keep it.

This stuffed Lion has become my little friend.  There have been way too many nights when tears have fell upon his main.  I have said more prayers holding this lion than I ever have in my entire life.

Today this lion will leave my home and go to North Carolina.  When I get to hug Sister Hogge again, she will be holding this Lion.

The Lion is the king of the jungle.  The Lion is a symbol of courage, strength and fortitude.  In the movie “The Lion King” we learn of the circle of life.  May my daughter take this Lion and hold it as dearly as I have.  I know that her prayers are more righteous than my prayers, so I know the Lord will pour out many blessings upon her as she also holds this Lion in her arms.   Courage is one man being braver than another man,  and not caring what the other man may think.  Courage, is declaring truth in a troubled world.  Courage is putting one foot in front of the other, and not looking back.  Be brave my angel missionary and know, that strength comes in the number THREE❤️.

 

 

 

 

 

YOGA

I started off my morning teaching a 6:30 a.m. yoga class.  I woke up tired and over-whelmed with things in my life that I just can’t seem to fix.  I went to bed realizing all of my weaknesses and vowing to try harder to work on my strengths.

One of my strengths is yoga.  I started practicing yoga about 16 years ago.  It has become a part of my life that I hold dear to my heart.  Yoga has transformed me into a better person.  A person who likes her body and feels great joy moving in and out of varied positions that open up channels of awareness that I never thought possible.

I am 54 years old and most people do not believe that when they see me.  I tell them that I have been practicing yoga for almost as long as I have had Kailee.  I think each time I go into a yoga pose I am reminded of her and the sweet spirit that she has brought into my life.  I became interested in yoga when she was about three.  I started taking some classes at the local gym and found a connection to this practice that I had never achieved from any other form of exercise.  When you have five children under the age of 13 , you grasp at anything you can find to create peace in the over-whelming pressures of motherhood.

Now that I am an empty nester , the yoga brings me peace in a different way.  I used to go to a class to get away from the craziness of my life, now I go to a class to get away from the stillness that surrounds me.

We pray for the day when we can take a shower with no one needing us.  Then that day comes when you can take four showers a day and no one would even know.   I often wonder how God wanted mother’s to transform into being needed every second of the day, to hardly being needed at all?

I became a certified yoga teacher in 2011.  I knew that someday when all my littles were big, that it would be a bigger part of my life.  Yoga takes us to a place where no one has ever been before, a place of enlightenment, a place of learning and a continual knowledge that there is a God in heaven that truly watches over us.  Today when I taught my 6:30 a.m.  yoga class, I felt God’s presence and I knew he loved me.  The song “Love Me, That’s All I Ask Of You” was playing on my playlist and I realized how much meaning that song has in my life.

When my twin boys were 4 months old I met my husband in Los Angeles California for a two night get-away from the intense responsibility of raising 4 small children.  My husband was out of the Country a lot , and we so desperately needed a few moments together to remember why we were married and to be together without having to worry when the next little person would need us.   We arranged for 3 of the children to go to grandma’s and one of the twins to go to a neighbors for the weekend.  I flew to LA to meet my husband.  He took me to the Play “Fantom Of The Opera”  The song “Love Me, That’s All I Ask Of You” became a part of me.  Every time I hear it I think of Him, and every time I listen to the words I think of the deep need that I have to be loved.  “To love another person is to see the face of God”.  To see the face of God enables us to love other people.  If we love God first, our spouse second, our family third and put our work fourth, we will become disciples of Jesus Christ and we can truly  be happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HURRICANE MATHEW

I have never experienced a hurricane  before or even been close to one, but my missionary daughter has been in the aftermath of Hurricane Mathew that has been going on since September 28th, 2016.   Their have been 1,033 death total so far and many people have been evacuated and have lost power.  In North Carolina alone there have been 10 fatalities.  However, their spirits are strong and they working together to restore power and to build back the damage that has been done.

I have experienced evacuation before due to a terrible fire above our home in Alpine Ut. over July 4th in 2012.  Each day when I look up at our beautiful mountain it is a constant reminder of the beauty that surrounds me and how horrible it may have been to lose our family home.  The mountains above Alpine and Lambert Park are some of the most beautiful structures that surround our community.  To look out my window and see such beauty,  gives me a strength that I can’t seem to find anywhere else.

After my daughter has finished her mission in North Carolina, the trees and water that surround her , will also become a permanent part in her heart.  She looks so comfortable in her new found home.  Her eyes seems brighter, her skin has a softness that I’ve never seen before and her countenance has completely made a transformation.  Their is an LDS song entitled  “His Image In Your Countenance”.  These are the words to the song:    Have You Received His Image In Your Countenance?  Does the light of Christ shine in your eyes?  Will he know you when he comes again because you shall be like Him, when he sees you will the Father know his Child?  I believe that each day Kailee serves in North Carolina her countenance will change.  When a missionary returns home they are a representative of Jesus Christ.  If that missionary is worthy and has returned with honor, it’s like being in Christ’s presence for just a brief moment.  To have Kailee gone is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but to know that when I see her again, it will be like being in Christ’s presence for a brief moment makes it all with it.

We seek for light and learning as followers of Christ, that all may see his goodness reflected in our lives.  When we receive his fullness and lose desire for sin.  We radiate his perfect love, a beauty from within.  The ways of man may tempt us and some will be deceived, Preferring worldly beauty, Forgetting truth received,  But whisprings of the Spirit remind us once again,  that lasting beauty, pure and clean must come from deep within.  May seeing a missionary, reading their letters or just seeing their picture make us a better people, more pure in our devotion to God and a desire to become more like Christ.

Wing 2

LOVE, MOM