“EQUISITE”

This past year I set a goal to write in my blog once a month. I was doing really good until the pandemic hit in mid March. I’m not sure how most people feel about writing during this time of uncertainly, but for me it’s been very difficult. In my own heart I know that this is just a small moment in time, but there are days when it seems like it will never end. I have really tried to move forward with faith, reflect on the things that have gone right (and there have been so many of them) and know that the only thing we truly have control over is our reaction to things. As I reflect on this year, the word exquisite fills my head.

This word has several meanings: It’s all in the way you perceive things. It can be the most beautiful word if used correctly, and one of the most negative if used to the contrary.

To me the word exquisite is the ocean at 6:00 a.m., when the tide is low and the water is calm. It’s the mountains in Alpine above my home on a October afternoon.

The word exquisite is my daughter Kailee’s green eyes that pierce my soul, my granddaughter Sydney’s eyes that are so brown you want to become better just by staring at her. And then there’s Ivy’s blue eyes that magically seem to watch every move I make. When I am with Ivy, I want to be a better person. They say that eyes are windows to the soul and I believe that through someone’s eyes we can tell a lot about a person.

To me exquisite is staring at a beautiful painting, marveling at the sunset, eating a hot fudge sundae with every topping you can imagine, running a marathon, doing a headstand for the first time, and learning to ride a bike without training wheels. It’s the beauty of knowing that something small & simple can become exquisite, if we just keep our eye on the beholder. This word is the best of the best: Exquisite beauty, exquisite joy, exquisite wonderment, and exquisite majesty. When I hear the word exquisite, I want to try harder, be kinder, love deeper and just embrace the goodness of the word.

However, there is opposition in all things, and to some, exquisite is agonizing pain, the worst of the worst, intense fear and loneliness, and it can also be used to explain darkness.

In the October 2020 general conference for “The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Saints,” Elder Mathew S Holland gave one of the most amazing talks about Christ, entitled “The Exquisite Gift Of The Son” and he speaks of how Christ is the only one who truly understands what exquisite truly means.

When the Savior was on the cross and when he was left alone without the companionship of the Holy Ghost, he truly knew exquisite pain and agony beyond anything that mortals would ever understand…. He had to know what it was like to be without the comforter to truly take on our sins. His pain on the cross was so exquisite that he bled from every pore. There is no power on the earth that will ever comprehend what he truly went through for us, so that we can be forgiven of our sins. There is nothing we haven’t experienced that he doesn’t already know, and it is through true repentance and a complete dependency on Him, that we truly come to understand what the word exquisite actually means.

The beautiful part of the word exquisite is that when we become perfected in Christ, and we repent of our sins, we can feel exquisite JOY. The most amazing part of becoming one with Christ is to know Him & to want to be like Him.

Everything good comes from Christ & our desire to find exquisite joy is to truly understand exquisite pain. It is through this opposition that we find our healer in Christ. In order to experience true joy, we have to be refined and purified through the trails of mortality. “Men are that they might have joy” and joy cometh to those who wait upon the Lord. His timing is not our timing and our waiting upon Him depends upon our worthiness.

I believe that there will be a day when all of the pains and sorrows of this mortal life will be erased. The things that weigh us down, our insecurities, our weaknesses, our fears, our shortcomings, and all of the human frailties that we seem to hold onto, will be but a small moment compared to eternity.

I believe the day I get to meet the Savior will be like no other on this earth. I believe there will be heralded angels singing, the moon will be perfect, the stars will be brighter than the noonday sun, and light will be so exquisite that our eyes will never be the same. I know that because of this mortal journey we call life, the expansion of eternity is to me, EQUISITE JOY and undeniable peace that only those who have walked with God will ever understand.

Exquisite is everything beautiful, wonderful, extraordinary and amazing all in one incredible moment. When I take my last mortal breath, my spirit will become extraordinarily exquisite, and I, like so many who have gone before me, will become “One with The Savior”.