~BLAME~

Since February is more than halfway over & we still have at least six more weeks of cold weather, I’ve realized that I have to stop blaming the weather for my moodiness.  For some reason my body dislikes being cold, it’s extremely tired of snow & requires way more sunlight than February likes to produce.  However,  I believe its a copout to blame too many things on the weather.

What does the word blame actually mean to most people?  It’s a term we seem to use as frequently as drinking a glass of water.  I was late to work because there was a wreck.   My car was on empty & I wasn’t the last one to drive it.  I flunked my English test because I stayed up all night fighting with my boyfriend,  so he’s the reason I will never graduate from college.

In this high tech , fast paced, tweeting, texting, & instagramming world we live in, we tend to constantly blame everyone & everything for all of our problems.

In the song “The Living Years” by Mike & The Mechanics” it speaks of crumpled bits of paper filled with imperfect thought, stilted conversations, I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got.  Say it loud, say it clear, you can listen as well as you hear.  It’s too late  when we die, to admit we don’t see eye to eye.
Sometimes the ones we love the most are the ones we want to blame the most,  but blame can only go so far if we’re the ones actually making the mistake.  We all make mistakes  & have our share of  imperfections, but when our mistakes keep repeating themselves over & over again, then the only person we can truly blame is ourselves.

I believe that example is our master teacher.  If we exercise everyday,  hopefully some of our children will want to do the same.  If we eat chocolate everyday,  it’s most likely our children will like chocolate also.  Our thoughts produce our actions, and many of our behaviors come from our thoughts.

I am a survival swim teacher for young children & babies.  I have been teaching young children how to be safe in the water for seventeen seasons.  A lot of  research has been done on water fear and how it truly is a leaned behavior.  Water fear leads to anxiety, which is also a learned behavior.  If we want our children to be calm in the water,  we have to remain calm ourselves.  If we want our children to feel confident, safe, and secure in the water, we have to have a positive relationship with the water.   Most of us want to raise a generation stronger than the one before.  In order to do this we must overcome our fears, or at least learn to keep them at a distance from our children.  If our children see our fears take over our lives, they will be afraid also.  Then, when the natural man takes over, they will start to blame their parents as they grow older.  It’s a vicious cycle & sometimes seems very difficult to break.
If we want our spouses to be kind, we must be kind ourselves.  Every time we act out on fear, anxiety is taking over & it becomes very difficult to find peace.  The stillness often comes when we turn to Christ & let him ease our burden.  He is willing to catch us with open arms if we just learn to trust HIM.
There is a saying that goes somewhat like this;

Faith is not about everything being ok.  Faith is about being ok no matter how things turn out.

I believe that somewhere in between blame & accountability, we have to move forward with faith and know that true change begins when we built a one on one relationship with Christ.   Our ability to love & forgive others becomes stronger,  when we learn how to love more, judge less & forgive more often.

 

 

Author: lisahogge

I am mother of five, a grandmother of 4, a wife, a swim teacher, yoga teacher, Sales Lead at Chico's Boutique in Orem, Utah and a friend to all. I love warm baths, hot yoga, mountain runs and I pretty much exist on diet coke. I love to be around people, travel and eat at fancy restaurants. However, my favorite thing to do is to just be with my family.

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