Accountability

I have set a few small goals for the year 2020,  one of them is to write in my blog once a month.  It has been an extremely long time since I have taken the time to put my thoughts down in any kind of chronological order.  I love to write, but it is also extremely difficult for me to sit still long enough to get my thoughts down in a way that truly expresses how I am feeling in my heart.

I decided that this month I would write about accountability.  I thought I would start with the first letter of the alphabet & pick a word that I need to work on.  Accountability came to mind & it struck me like lightening that I wanted to understand more about the word accountability & become more accountable for who I am as a person.  I want to be more aware of my accountability as a daughter of God, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a grandmother, a co-worker, a business owner,  a yoga enthusiasts, a friend & also a neighbor.

Accountability is an important word and has several  different meanings that I would like to address.  My first & foremost concern for being accountable is my relationship with God.  He is the most important person in my life.  He is the one who I try to love the most, talk to the most, have probably at times hurt the most, but definitely is the one I want to please the most when I lay my head to rest at night.

I decided about 10 years ago, that God is truly the only person that I am accountable for at the end of each day.  It seemed easy at first, to think that I really didn’t care what people thought of me, because deep down inside I really do care what people think.  I care a lot about my relationships with people and & I probably care too much of how others perceive me.

However,  I am the happiest when I am trying to please God & not worry so much about pleasing the natural man.  It hasn’t been easy & it’s definitely a work in progress.  Yet deep down inside, I have learned that true joy & undeniable peace come when I am trying to live as Christ lives, one day at a time, one hour, one minute and even one tenth of a second in tune with the person he truly wants me to be.

In Websters terms,  the word accountable means an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.  We live in a world where for some reason , no one wants to take responsiiblity for their own actions.  “I didn’t see that the light turned red”,  “the other person should of watched where they were going”,  my marriage ended in divorce because he wasn’t ‘t honest,  I was left alone in the parking lot after my car was hit, even though several people asked to help me”.  The natural man is quick to blame the other person or turn the responsibility to someone else.  It takes someone of high self-esteem & extreme humility to admit when they are wrong & give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

In the scriptures it speaks of accountability as being responsible for your own sins, and accountable for your own actions.  In the church of Jesus Christ  of Latter Day Saints we are taught in the second article of faith that men will be punished for their own sins and not for Adams transgression.

As a parent sometimes this is extremely difficult.  If we understand our own potential and our own self-worth, we can own our own mistakes, but its very difficult, especially with adult children to not want to take on their sins and their mistakes also.  It takes a very strong person to not want to blame ourselves & take accountability for our children’s sins and mistake. We often think we are doing them a favor, but this at times can enable them to rely on us too much and to expect us to save them.

The only person we can truly save is ourselves and the only person we can  truly repent for is ourselves.  We are accountable to teach our children correct principles and honor those principles.  If a child chooses a different path or makes different choices than we have taught them, we have to stay strong in our beliefs and teach by positive example, always remaining steadfast with outstretched arms and unconditional love.

Today I am accountable for what time I woke up, what I ate, who I served, who I smiled at or possibly frowned at.  Today was the only day that I was accountable for,  and tomorrow with all it’s ups & downs will be a new day of endless possibilities, with goals to set and dreams to dream of even a brighter tomorrow that will replace today and hopefully tomorrow with all its mysteries will hopefully reap some of my hard work today.

Dalai Lama

He said, “There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done.  One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.”