The locker

On Wednesday October 30th I went to the Mount Timpanogos temple. My appointment was at 1:30 p.m. I was early which is very unusual for me. I felt this great peace sitting there for a few minutes.

I was feeling a calm, sweet assurance that I was in the right place at the right time.

After a few minutes, I looked up and saw an elderly lady who wasn’t feeling good. I felt so bad for her and I wanted to help her. I told one of the temple workers that I may have a protein bar in my purse and that I would go and look for it. They were so grateful.

Unfortunately when I went to find my locker, I realized that I did not have my key. I had left my key in the locker. I have a pretty scattered ADD brain and I was definitely stressed. There is this feeling of panic when you are in a public place and you can’t find your key. This feeling is so undeniably excruciating and I was trying to do something good. I had gotten there early, but everything, seemed to be going against me.

I saw a sister in the next row over and I asked her if she had ever done this before and forgotten where she had put something?

We both laughed and she shared a couple experiences with me where she had forgotten where she had parked. She said she wished she could help me look but she wouldn’t be able to leave her station.

I stayed calm and knew I would eventually find it.

I went over to the next row and still could not find my locker. I always put my black suitcase above my locker, so I thought it would be easy to find my locker, but it wasn’t as easy as I thought and I was starting to panic.

This kind sister gave me a pen and a notebook and told me that I would probably need to just start opening every locker that had a key in it and write the letter and number down on the ones that did not have a key.

This seemed so over-whelming especially for someone who has ADD and has been battling panic attacks for the last couple of weeks.

I started to feel anger creep in and I said to myself, why do these kind of things always happen to me? I try to go to the temple once a week because it is a goal I set a year ago. It’s been a constant in my life for many years and a blessing to me and my family. I really needed this day to go good. I tried to change my mindset and remain calm.

All of the sudden I looked up and I saw Holly Stucki standing there asking me if she could help. She is the wife of one of Daren’s old business clients back in the day when he used to work for Arthur Anderson. She works there on Wednesdays and she has always been so extremely kind to me.

I learned so much from this experience. First and foremost, don’t leave your key in your locker. Secondly, if you do, stay calm, and last but not least, stay present.

This experience made me think so much about life and how important it is to be prepared.

These elements of preparedness come from faith, obedience, persistence, determination and practicing over and over again the law of consecration.

The Lord is bound to help us when we do what he says, but if we expect him to help us when we don’t do our part, it becomes so much more difficult.

I have this incredible belief that heaven is the most beautiful place. In my Cinderella head I know there are butterflies, flowers, beautiful landscapes, water falls and definitely lots of rainbows.

However, we can’t get to heaven if we don’t have the right key. The word right is truly evidence of our obedience. We can have a lot of keys, they can even be good keys, but in order to unlock the gate to the celestial kingdom, we have to have the right key.

Over the past 3 years our family has had to experience a lot of loss. My kind father, our unforgettable mother, 4 little beautiful babies that never made it past two months, and our last and one of the most difficult losses was my home run hitting brother Russell.

I have become a different person these past few years. Home has become my sanctuary. I’ve listened to lots of music, found several songs that have reminded me of my eternal family and I listen to them often.

I’ve danced like I’ve never danced before in my entire life, embraced yoga on a higher level, and most importantly, on the good days, I have become closer to Christ.

Hopefully when I get to heaven, I won’t even need a key, because the door will be unlocked and Christ and all of my family will be waiting there for me. Unfortunately the way my week has gone, I definitely have a long way to go.

There is this saying about putting on the whole armor of God. I do believe this to be true. I have this body that I have worked so hard for. I try and exercise everyday and I’m constantly trying to make better food choices. I know I have good DNA and I inherited good genes from my parents. Consequently, taking care of the body is a lot of hard work. It takes desire, dedication, long suffering and strong will power to work/out and eat healthy.

I have realized the stronger my body becomes, the easier it is for me to withstand temptation, over-come my weaknesses and release bottled up emotions that seem to pull at my heart strings.

When something is locked and we can’t open it up, we feel frustrated, stuck, frightened and alone.

But when we can open up the door to someone’s heart, mend a quarrel, strengthen a relationship, our keys to happiness will be much easier to find.

Our heart is like a locker. It can stay closed and stuck in the same place. It can become rusty and tarnished if it’s not used properly.

Consequently, on the good days, many beautiful things can happen to our heart if the right person opens it and it receives the kind of care and attention that it deserves.

Our hearts can and forever remain locked, partially open, halfway open and on the really good days, open all the way.

It’s really up to us to know when to open up our hearts and when to carefully protect them, especially if that persons intentions are not sincere and Christlike.

I’m so grateful on this particular Wednesday that I knew someone at the temple and cared enough to help me find my key,

I tried to have my heart in the right place at the right time and to always remember that the more we can love and serve others, without expecting anything in return, the bigger and more beautiful our hearts will become.