January, 14, 2017
Over the past two months I have experienced more stress and anxiety than I ever imagined could happen to me in two short months. I have found myself paralyzed with fear to the extent that it took every effort for me to breath. Yet, once in a while a stillness disapates me and I know that God is aware of me and he is watching over me.
Today I am in Clearwater Florida at a business meeting for my husband. Normally the beach calms me like no other place on earth. However, today I have dreamed of my mountain home in Alpine, Utah. The home where I raised my five children and the home that has pictures of Christ there that center me like no other place on earth.
I have a favorite place where I sit and look out the window and the mountain staring back at me is the most magnificent place on earth. That mountain is a place of calm, a place of refuge from a storm and a constant reminder that this world is indeed a beautiful place.
Most people dream of traveling the world, seeing majestic scenery and smelling the ocean.
I, however, love to feel safe, protected and watched over. When I am in my home in Alpine I feel safe.
My husband is working in Frisco Texas. He is the CEO of a network marketing company called Genesis Pure. He is really good at what he does and works A LOT. This job change has rocked my world to the point where I honestly have questioned whether God was listening to my prayers?
The job that was offered my husband was out of State. He promised me that he would never quit a job without having another one first. My husband has always been an amazing provider, he has always paid every bill and always finds a way to solve difficult problems in business. I know he is doing everything he can to make the most of a difficult situation. I , on the other hand have realized my weaknesses more than I would like to admit. I have come to the conclusion that this too shall pass. I believe that I have to start at the very beginning and try to have childlike faith. Proverbs 3:5- Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not unto thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path.
Many people have been praying for my husband to come back to this company. There are so many people who love him. My prayer was to stay in Utah. My prayer was to get out of this industry, my prayer was to have my husband home at night on the couch, completely engaged in my thoughts.
A girl has to dream. I will continue to dream this dream. Because without a dream, we have no vision. And without vision, we have no hope.
I pray that God will take my hand and lead me though this unknown journey. May my faith tomorrow be better than it was today and may someone’s life be blessed because of the sacrifices I am making.